she worked as long as she could
and did her best and still feels like maybe she is just lazy
that she could have done more
tried harder
and dad's death, she said, it broke her heart
she is scared and unsure
nervous and wrings her hands
rubs her forehead
I tried to assure her
to explain how we all wanted her
how my brother and his wife wanted to have her
bought their house planning to have her there
and how we wanted her too
and also wanted what would be best for her
she thinks she was sick and now she is better
and in these moments of clarity and real conversation
I have a glimmer of hope that maybe she is better
and I know she is not
she still knows me and wants to see me
and that is everything
