repair

she is brutally honest and its heartbreakingly clear
and i feel scared about what k will retain
fight creased into her palms
broken pieces imprinted on her soul
and there is no way to know
just trust and hope and trust some more
and wrap her in your arms
press laughter and warmth into her open hands

and hope

begin; again

coffee late night quiet house
my chest cracked open and it poured out of me
laughing and delighted
perfectly imperfect and hand made and such a surprising reflection of my soul
and i cried
relieved
encouraged
supple
happy

and i woke up this morning
excited to begin again
refreshed to feel the fresh air on my heart on my soul
opening more and more and more
again

new path

i spin my ring
and he refers and suggests and wishes us luck

my heart is racing
my face is flushed and hot
and i try to gather this up
from all the parts of me
wet palms
twisty belly
nervous revving brain
argyle socks
and i pad across the room and get dressed

today
focus restart
swimming in the grand possibility

re-entry

all the signs are in english
and i understand the conversation around me
comforting and strange at the same time
our adventure seems like a world away

we walked to the eiffel tower
snowflakes falling all around us
speechless and awed by the lights the cold the sight of it all

last night in the quiet of the house
echos of the evening
songs and laughter and a gorgeous meal
i closed my eyes and saw anne frank's tiny room
and the tree outside her blacked out window
she longed for the simplest joys - sun on her face and fresh air
i heard her father's sad voice
surprised by the child he found in her diary

the new year is beginning to unfold
and so am i
open hopeful naked and exploring
seeing this sweet life with new eyes
with gratitude
with joy

paris

cold and grey opens to bright blue skies
and the city opens to us
the people open to us
lights strung across the streets
trees with ribbons and bows and paper lanterns
fromagerie and bridget bardot
loulou and le fontaine gourmande and notre dame
tiny tables and chairs huddled outside under heaters

crepes and bread and butter like nothing i have tasted before
wandering and laughing and deciphering the metro
sancre coeur and climbing more and more and more stairs
to a breathtaking view of the city with my sweet love

i could live here
i could live anywhere with this fullness this bursting

so much more to do
louve
hidden kitchen
tour eiffel
explore
chocolat chaud
carafe d'eau
fromage et sandwich au beurre
so much time

je t'aime paris
i love this life