this evening

i roll up my pajama pants
swirl my feet in the cold water
the wind picks up
and pecans fall onto the roof and the deck
the familiar knock fills the dark

i can see the leaves on the bottom
and hiding near the edge
riding the ripples of the water

restless and tired
my brain is headed in five different directions
and rocking in the corner
i whisper into the night
i can do this
coaxing my attention back to this moment
i can do this

i want to cast energy from my hands again
feel the pull the connection the flow
sew encouraging words into my shirt
and feel the letters the meaning the weight seep in
coax all parts of me back
to this night
to this cold water
to this moment